Men on Natural Hair

Almost three years ago I married my long time associate whom I met in 6th grade. We were pretty close throughout junior high school but lost touch thru high school. Then after many years rekindled in 2009. ūüôā¬†¬† Okay enough history, lol. Fast forward to Jan 2012 I had stopped getting my hair relaxed in December 2011 and started going to the Dominicans¬† for blow outs. My then fiance had no problem with this because he never saw what the Dominican stylist saw (a head full of kinky hair)..lol. when I told him I was going natural at first he didn’t even know what it meant. Then I showed him a few images and videos from Youtube. He was like Naw! Flat out, NO. I like my relationship to be harmonious so I didn’t want to argue plus at the end of day I knew he wouldn’t be really upset if I followed through with these plans. We continued to discus me going natural over the weeks. Then I did it and he called me his lil almond head..lol.

He was very supportive of my hair every month and encouraging when I had moments that were disastrous. But what I noticed ¬†in my earlier days was ¬†that he was very opinionated and judgmental when it came to other naturals. ¬†He’d make little smug remarks about some styles. So my thoughts are that he’s just going through it for me but really doesn’t like it; he like it on me and no one else; he likes some of things I do with my hair and some he doesn’t. Since I took my locs out I’ve worn my hair straight, bantu knot out curls, and flat twist out and my husband preferred the flat twist out. He said he loves my curly hair like that. ¬†BIG SMILE ūüôā Overall I think he tolerates me being natural because he loves me. I think for the most part I’m okay with that. Oh another indication that he preferred my relaxed hair or ¬†straight styles, which he denies, is that he post more pictures of me on his social media sites with straight hair. He say’s I’m full of it! lol

My son was like, “why did you cute your hair ma?” That was the last conversation he and I has about the subject. I don’t think he cares for it much either as he often comments on kinky hair textures in a negative manner. ¬†He’s never made me feel bad and he always treats me the same no matter who we are with. So hes’ not embarrassed but just would prefer me to have been the “norm”.

My older cousin was not a fan when he first saw that I had cut my hair and had gone natural. ¬†He joked on me constantly about being ball headed (not knowing that a sister had severe shrinkage). It was a friendly joke nothing serious but his wife is relaxed and I’m sure if she decided to go natural he may divorce her.

These are the most important men in my life so those are the ones that opinions mean something to me. How were the men in your life effected when you told them you were going natural?  How did/does it make you feel.

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Raging Heart

These movements of a red ocean
Sending my heart through the motions
Tempting me like the wild blue fire
Raging my heart’s most pure desire

Catastrophic events blind souls
While tremendous losses unfold
Racing towards the cutting wire
Raging my heart’s most pure desire

Surfacing are my dying truths
Attempting to misguide my youth
Not knowing passion is higher
Raging my heart’s most pure desire

These movements of a red ocean
Raging my heart’s most pure desire

 

This type of poem is called a Kyrielle Sonnet